Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Lord I need a "GUIDING LIGHT"

We met Meo and John and Kae yesterday and had Meo's birthday lunch. We had a nice lunch.
Now for today...
The last thing he said to me as I left the room was, "what are you talking about Psycho... The thing before that was "do what she says Whitney , she's in a mood" , Which is why (in my opinion) Whitney is as bent out of shape is she is. I had asked Whitney to come clean up a mess she made in the kitchen, she had spilled something that had splattered all over the floor, the floor that I spent 3 hours sweeping and mopping yesterday. I am complaining now because I am so tired of being a mother...I have had a baby on my hip since before my 18th birthday and I am tired! Rudy is talking about getting a job full time @ Memorial, Ricky will be home full time next year, I want to go sit at my mothers grave, I want to go stroll around wal-mart(without rushing for a change) I want to work in my yard, I want to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it. Rudy informed me that I have always known that there would come a time when Ricky would be home and I should be prepared...I'm not.Somebody tell me I'm wrong for feeling this way. Somebody reiterate the fact that, this is MY JOB. Rudy is free to work. He tells me to "go get a job" he'll stay home , I don't want that either. I hate this life I don't know what I want.
I had to ask Jesse to buy me some new drinking glasses because he has been throwing my glasses away, because he has been spitting in them. I had wondered what was happening to all my glasses and I caught Jesse throwing a glass away one morning and I asked him what was he doing, and he said "You told me that if I spit in a glass to throw it away...I said "Jesse I didn't mean my good glasses, why would you spit in them anyway" Because I didn't have anything else to spit in. But Jesse your not supposed to be dipping in the house so why would you think its ok to dip in the house and spit in my glasses and throw them away? Jesse's classic response..."I don't know". Anyway I told him I wanted him to go to Sam's club and buy me another set of glasses, I even offered him my card, but as usual he ignores me. He acts like I haven't said a word. I don't like to be ignored. Anyway its been 2 or 3 months and I still have no glasses. Then there's the toilet paper issue... Keep in mind Jesse is making 450.00 per week, paying no rent, no car pymt, no nothing... He irritates me when he expects us to stock his bathroom, so I had told him months ago that he needed to start buying his own detergent and toilet paper, soap, toothbrushes, paste ect...and he has somewhat, he bought 1 pkg of cheap toilet paper 1 time and when he ran out he started going to his dad's b-room for more, so I told him Jesse you need to buy some more toilet paper, he "don't know" why he keeps forgetting...Well I left the roll out of dad's bathroom in there and told him the next time you go to wal-mart you need to get toilet paper. Last week I saw that the roll was getting small so I put a note in his room that said You need toilet paper, I found the note wadded up and in the trash. well he's out again and he just went to dad's bathroom and got another roll. I took it out. Now Rudy saw me and is furious at me. He says toilet paper is not a big deal, and its not, its the principal of the thing. I don't like to be ignored!
Anyhow...Rudy just reminded me that "your boy will be here next week, remember what your doing" And I will. If Chad makes as much money as Jesse and spends it all on dip and gum to smack in church ect... and has absolutely NOTHING to show for it I promise I will. Jesse is supposed to be saving up for his "wedding" Rudy asked him how much money he has saved and he said 300.00 This was asked Friday after he got paid on Thursday...Ive already told Jesse's future spouse that she definitely needs to manage the money, she laughed...O honey, you'll soon find out that this mean old step mother knew what she was talking about!
I guess Ive gripped enough. I'm not even sure I'll put this up, I think I do feel some better tho. Anybody have a spare room?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

as soon as we find a place, we might have a spare room!! Hahaa!
Bonita's other half!