Saturday, October 04, 2008

The Story of The END of my relationship with Cigarettes (and it was a long one)

Good Saturday Morning!
The pioneer Woman had a post yesterday about her"jaunt" smoking cigarettes, and it got me to thinking , Maybe I could help someone quit or think about quitting by telling my story, so here goes!
I went to the doctor last November for my well woman exam, and while I was there I asked the doctor about the new drug "Chantix" that is supposed to help you quit smoking. We talked about it a little bit and my Dr. wrote me a prescription. Well, I put the prescription in the drawer and told myself I'd deal with it later. After about a week of looking at the prescription , I took it down to walmart and had it filled and put the actual meds into the SAME drawer. I did leave the leaflets out tho and I started to read "How to go about quitting" First your supposed to pick a quit date, something memorable, or the way my mind was working , something FARRRRRRRRRRR away! Well it was November and my b-day is Feb 23rd, so that is the date I chose, February 23rd 2008.
I continued to smoke (like a freight-train) and thought about those pills every once in a while, telling people daily that I was gonna quit on my b-day. Well about a week before my b-day I went to get the pills to , well I don't know why I went to get them, but they were GONE, I mean just gone period. Well I searched the house for them, to no avail. I was afraid Noah (my 2year old) had gotten them, but the point was ( O -NO ) I was supposed to start taking them in a week. Well I went back to wal-mart and told them my story and guess what...They called my Dr. and he gave me another prescription (Boo-Hoo) Man there went my opportunity to NOT quit! O well , back on track , I started carrying them around in my purse. I was trying to set my mind on quitting, even tho I really did not want to. My cigarettes were my best friend, they had been with me since my youth, they helped me through so many jams...I mean really I did NOT want to quit. I mean I know the risks of smoking and for those reasons I did, and the fact that I'm a christian didn't help. I kept reading in the bible " Should we continue in sin so that grace may abound...NO" Smoking is SIN people, we try to make it not , but it is! Face it. I had gotten to where I only smoked when I was:
A) with another smoker , or
B) by myself
because I was ashamed...Here I was calling myself a christian and I had sin that God could not deliver me from, HA! Truth is I had quit twice before. Once for 1 year, and another time for 3 years...I willfully picked them back up after God had delivered me. So that was a total joke. God could and would but could I give up my best friend... The attitude I had was, I'm gonna take the chantix and if it works OK and if it don't, well then I tried (yeah right). I was doing this half hartedly, kinda like "this stuff's gotta make me want to quit".
I need to add that my mother was dying from breast cancer( not from smoking, she only smoked for a year or 2 back in the 50's) and I was spending as much time as I could over there and I wanted to be with mama, but I did not want to be offensive (smelly) to her, so it was a challenge. Trying to sneak out to smoke and then not smell like I had. I never smoked in front of my mother, in fact I don't think she EVER saw me smoke, she knew I did cause I always stunk!
Anyway...My birthday came and I took a pill, see the way Chantix works is you have a pack that is simplified for you, there is 7 days on each card on the 1st, 2nd and
3rd day you take 1 white pill, then on the 4th day you take 1 white pill in the am and 1 in the pm for 4 more consecutive days. You can continue to smoke when your taking the white pills (thank goodness)then on the 8th day you start the blue pills, 1 in the am and 1 in the pm. Well on the 8th day my mother was really sick and my sister and I spent the night with her. In the Am there was just too much stress, so after I took my am pill I lit up. I smoked all day on that 8th day even tho it was supposed to be my quit day. I still wanted a cigarette, so I smoked. I read the leaflet and it will not hurt you, it has no nicotine. This medicine just blocks the sensors that tell your brain you want a cigarette. I kept waiting for the meds to "kick" in and me not want a cigarette, but it didn't , not that day.
Well the next morning, I think we were at mama's again, I got up and I never even thought about a cigarette...I had my pack neatly sitting with my lighter , but I just didn't have the urge. I could have smoked , but why when I didn't want to, and I didn't. Hey it worked , just like it said it would...Now don't get me wrong, There are times when I could smoke one, like when I'm around my husband who smokes like 2 freight trains, but I am in control and NO I choose not to. Sometimes I miss it , but hey , I miss alot of things that are NOT good for me. I am still an addict, but my addiction is BROKEN. I do not want that monkey on my back again. I won't risk becoming addicted again. Also, this has really made me look at addicts of drugs and alcohol and really just any addiction , in a different light. Listen, just because I don't have a problem with drugs or alcohol, I certainly won't fault, or think I'm better than someone who is. But for the grace of God there go I!
Addiction is a horrible thing!
I continued to take the Chantix up through April. The prescription is 60 days, but I had found the other the drawer, just where I had put it. I still have some.
One day Rudy and I and Cindy and Teri took Whitney to the Pleasant Jamboree Opry, and after she rehearsed we were all standing out on the sidewalk and they were puffin away. I got a cigarette and lit it up and smoked it. When I got through I thought to myself "why'd you do that". It did not taste good and Man, I just did not want to HAVE to smoke every few minutes again. So that was actually my last one, but
I am DONE. Sometimes I still want one, but I can choose NOT TO SMOKE IT!
Well this IS my story and I'm stickin to it. I am saving us approximatly $28.00 a week X 4 = $112.00 per month, give or take a few dollars, and I smoked the cheap one's. I called 'em the floor sweepin's. Rudy continues to smoke as much, or more, than he did before I quit. He is considerate, he does not smoke in the car and he tries not to smoke in front of me. Our relationship has suffered some because that was something we had in common. We checked out of the house 2 or 3 times an hour to go outside and smoke, now he goes by himself, usually with the phone, it gets lonely out there. I am praying that the Lord will deal with him on this and I swear I try not to be a horrible ex-smoker, but I am afraid I am, not with anyone except Rudy! Sorry Rudy, its just that I know if I can do it ANYBODY can do it!
Thank you Lord Jesus for (once again) delivering me!
P.S. To anyone who doesn't know me. I started smoking when I was 16 and I turned 49 on my quit date. I was not a little closet smoker. I smoked at least a pack a day, sometimes more, depending on my mood, and or stress, level... I have 5 children and I did alter my smoking when I would have morning sickness so bad I couldn't stand to smoke. I would like to apologize to my children for not stopping smoking when I was pregnant or nursing. I praise God ya'll are healthy and as far as I know you don't suffer any retributions from my smoking.I sincerely am sorry.
Other than that I LOVED(Past tense) my Cigarrrro's.


Melissa B. said...

Good for you! I was a ciggie mama, too, but quit quite a few years ago. Just a nasty habit, really, although I really did love my ciggies, too! BTW, don't forget our Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. Come by and Share That Caption Love!

BB said...


Thank you for sharing your story...I'm getting my RX this week and setting my quit date for Nov 14, my hubby's 4th year anniversary smoke free & his 4th ann of his first heart attack at 42 yrs old and also found out he is an insulin dependent diabetic that same day...I so understood your words...and yes, I do know that you are helping me...Thank you dear sweet cyber friend....thank you so much....

Big Hugs,

ps I will keep you posted and stay in're an angel....

Mary Ellen said...

Very good post! You have a very good heart.

The W.O.W. factor said...

Great Post Glenda! I do believe it's the same Rx Cowboy's uncle used and He is so grateful!He quit at 75 yrs, started at 14.
Thumbs up to your great achievement!