Saturday, May 16, 2009

Flusterations of a mother to a teen girl...TMI

Ive been having an ongoing conversation with my 2nd son about how we as Christians have 1 example, The Lord Jesus.
In dealing with certain situations and certain 15 year old girls, we are to be Christlike. Man thats a tall order.
I'm gonna give you a couple of situations and maybe you can tell me how you would handle them because I am a total failure .
I try so hard to be patient and kind but it always ends up with me yelling at her.
Last night or yesterday after school, she rode home with a friend that lives down the street, that I don't really know that well but Whitney says she's really nice and her dad is a coach at our school, so I have not said anything, because if I do I'm a horrible parent (I really don't care what she thinks, but Ive been raising kids for so long, I just want contentment)! ANYWAY...she said she wants to go hang out with Lindsey, so I said "put your laundry in to wash and that'll be fine" so she does. At about 6;30 she text's me and says Lindsey and I are going to the rodeo. I say, we have supper for you, she says she wants to go ahead and go to the rodeo, so I relent. Go ahead, but be home early you have to finish your laundry. Rudy tells her to be home at 10.Well at 10:20 she calls and says that Lindsey's family went to Taco bell and she couldn't get her at 10, but when she does get here she eats the "supper" I had for her earlier...I tell her "don't forget to do your laundry", Well she finally goes to bed, and this morning when I wake her up, there's the laundry all neatly folded, waiting to be hung, just the way I had left it. She never touched it. So , Rudy's telling her to hurry up because he's gonna be late and she is just so nonchalant. she could care less about putting someone else out. So I say to her, "you want adult privileges then you need to start acting responsibly, like an adult". About that time, she spots the ring on my finger that she gave me for mothers day, and she says "give me that ring, I spent way too much money on it for YOU to treat me this way", I passed the ring to her and walked away. she did do the laundry and make her bed (but with prompts) and Rudy was late to work because he was waiting for her.
I don't want the ring back. If she's gonna get mad and take it every time I don't please her. I am at my wits end. When she wants to go somewhere I take her, I always let her drive, I am loving and I TRY to be kind, and believe me its hard when a child (15 year old) acts like she hates me all the time except when she wants something ,and then she's like sugar (fake). She is failing algebra and has to go to summer school, and could care less. I really don't let her do much . Yesterday,going to the rodeo was not something she does very much at all. She is just now starting to ask to do a few things and I plan to use these requests as leverage, for when I want her to do things. I would like to go to sleep and wake up when she's grown, seriously.
Ya'll please pray for me. This probably doesn't make any sense to you but I think I may feel better! :)


Anonymous said...

At 15, they "hate" you most of the time. (Of course, they don't really hate you). They are experimenting with boundaries and self identity issues. Laundry is one thing. (I did my kids laundry, and bed making was not an issue at our house, since my husband and I don't make our bed, either.) I would, however, focus on the algebra. Flunking math has more far reaching effect, and she may be trying but may need the help of a tutor or family ember who is good in math. My kid was a very focused student, which was a blessing for us. Keep in mind that she isn't doing anything bad; she is just being a typical teenager. And you are being the great, patient parent. By the time she turns twenty she will .ove you all the time! Tija S

Carol said...

15 year olds are tough. I sure wouldn't want to do that again. And yeah, I think you are pretty much the bad guy to them all the time. They just don't understand the ramifications of their choices and actions at that age. They are probably in the dumbest time of their lives and think they are the smartest. They need you to look out for them because most will make bad choices if you dont. Try not to worry about how she feels about you. She's probably going to hate you for another couple of years, but she will get over it and love you again eventually. She needs a strong person to look out for her best interests, not to please her, because looking out for her best interests will not please her. Hang in there. You've only got 3 years to go!

Anonymous said...

you didnt pass the ring you threw it..just thoughhht id add that.

Glenda, saved by grace said...

I slid it on the toot!

beckymc said...

I have a grown daughter. I wish I could tell you she will wake up tomorrow a new person. Unfortunately that will not happen. What will happen is the pull and tag of mothers and daughters. Then she will grow older and realize hey mom did know something. I will pray for you and your daughter.